Your life is uneventful and somehow so dull,
You are bored and sit on the couch and that's really a pity.
Yes, I know you have nothing to do and so you simply call me.
And I am really stupid enough to answer the phone.
The following two hours are pure torture for me,
But I swear to myself, this was the very last time.
Chorus: Just tell it to the machine, if you've got something to say,
Because I'm not interested in the least.
And you have to live with that, whether you like it or not,
But after all at least you gave it a try.
I am never at home or the line is engaged,
But don't let this bother you - Speak now.
You don't stop telling me about your wife and your nice kids,
About your car, your house, there's no way to prevent it.
I lie, that I should have left the house hours ago,
But you don't show any mercy and just never come to an end.
The following three hours are pure torture for me,
And again I swear to myself, this was the very last time.
Unfortunately, once more I am not within reach,
Or maybe one more time I cannot be moved.
I'm sitting in the bathtub, I just don't care,
And present my freshly-cleaned arse for kissing.
And finally you bury me under your depressions,
You are the most pitiful person on earth, so why should you spare me?
Yes, everybody is mean to you and you are so lonely,
I didn't have any problems before, fortunately I have yours now.
I just let you talk away, I don't give a f**k
But I guarantee, this won't happen to me again.